The world today:
It's not how it used to be!
The world young men are growing up in today is vastly different from past generations. With the rise of social media, self-worth is increasingly shaped by unrealistic portrayals of success and fulfilment. Studies show that over 60% of teenagers feel pressure to look successful online, and one in three young men report that social media negatively impacts their mental health.
At the same time, bullying—both online and offline—is on the rise, fuelled by poor male role models seen in media, sports, and entertainment. According to recent reports, over 70% of school-aged boys have witnessed or experienced bullying, often struggling to find positive examples of leadership, respect, and emotional resilience.
Masculinity itself has also undergone major shifts due to evolving societal expectations, leaving many young men uncertain about their identity and role in the world. Tragically, these challenges are reflected in mental health statistics: in 2022, a total of 2,455 men died by suicide in Australia, equating to 18.8 deaths per 100,000 population. Men aged 45–49 had the highest rates among those under 80 years, accounting for the largest proportion of male suicides (10.7%).
Despite these alarming figures, mental health funding for men's programs remains insufficient. While initiatives like the Men's Mental Health and Suicide Prevention Small Grants Program offer up to $50,000 per project, the demand far exceeds the available support. A survey revealed that 78% of Australians support additional government funding targeted at tackling men's health and social issues, highlighting a public recognition of the need for greater investment in this area.
As parents, educators, and mentors, the question remains: how can we best guide young men toward a strong sense of self-worth, purpose, and success in life? By providing the right tools, guidance, and role models, we can help young men navigate these challenges with confidence and clarity. More on this below...
My son is being bullied - what can I do?
It's about the controllable...
Bullying is a harsh reality for many young men in Australia. Studies show that one in four students experience bullying at school, with boys being more likely to face physical and verbal harassment. Additionally, one in three young men report experiencing cyberbullying, making the issue even more challenging to escape.
As a parent, watching your son go through this is heartbreaking. You want to protect him, but the question is—what’s the best way to help?
What Are Your Options?
Many parents start by trying to control the external environment, but this often has limited success.
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Speaking to the school can raise awareness, but with limited resources and the reality that bullies often ignore authority, the problem rarely disappears overnight.
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Talking to the bully’s parents can backfire, sometimes making the situation worse by giving the bully more reason to target your son.
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Removing your child from the environment—moving schools or homeschooling—might offer short-term relief, but bullying exists in every stage of life, including workplaces and adult relationships.
So, what’s the solution?
Focus on What Your Son Can Control
The most effective way to help your son isn’t to change the bullies—it’s to strengthen him.
Many victims of bullying struggle with low self-worth and a lack of identity—which is completely natural when they’re constantly put down. But by focusing on building confidence, self-validation, and resilience, you can completely shift the impact bullying has on him.
How to Empower Your Son:
- Teach him that he is enough just as he is. Help him recognise that the words of others do not define his worth.
- Identify his core values. When he knows what he stands for, external negativity has less power over him.
- Surround him with strong role models. Positive male influences can give him confidence, guidance, and a sense of belonging.
- Help him develop inner strength. When a young man truly believes in himself, bullies lose their power.
The Bigger Picture
It’s natural to want to remove your son from a harmful situation, but life will always present challenges—whether in school, work, or social settings. The best gift you can give him isn’t a way to avoid bullies—it’s the tools to handle them with confidence and strength.
Because when a young man feels strong, secure, and supported—he can take on anything.
My Son Won’t See a Therapist or Psychologist – What Do I Do?
It's outdated... and he knows it...
One of the most challenging situations a parent can face is knowing their son needs help but having him refuse to get it. While I may not be a parent myself, I was that kid—the one who told my mother, “I will not go!”
The key issue here is stigma. When I was in your son’s shoes, therapy felt like something only clinically insane people did in movies. Admitting I needed help meant acknowledging that I had a problem. Worse, if my friends at school found out I wasn’t perfect, it felt like my life would be over.
So, what’s the solution?
Reframing the Conversation
Instead of presenting therapy as clinical help, frame it as an opportunity—something that puts him ahead of the game. Most young men don’t like the idea of “fixing a problem,” but they do like the idea of becoming better than their peers.
If your son has a dream—whether that’s becoming an athlete, entrepreneur, astronaut, or writer—explain how speaking to someone can help him get there faster. Positioning it as an advantage rather than a necessity makes a massive difference.
Finding the Right Mentor
Even more important than how you position the idea is who he gets guidance from. Ask yourself:
Would your son rather talk to a 60-year-old clinical veteran with all the experience in the world, but no real connection to his struggles?
Or would he rather talk to a 24-year-old mentor who understands exactly what he’s going through, relates to his world, and has the tools to help him?
We both know the answer.
The truth is, young men need connection and trust to truly absorb advice and put it into action. When I was a teenager, there were at least four or five people I would’ve taken advice from before my parents. The funny part? I had never even met them. One of them was Michael Jordan.
The reality is, young men model themselves after people they look up to. They don’t admire a 60-year-old therapist, but they do look up to the 24-year-old footballer who knows about Fortnite, Snapchat, and their favourite YouTubers (I'm talking about me by the way).
Summary
If your son refuses therapy, reframe the conversation—position it as an opportunity to get ahead, not a sign that something is wrong. More importantly, find someone relatable who understands his world and can connect with him on his level.
Young men don’t want authority figures telling them what to do. They want mentors—people they respect, look up to, and aspire to be like.
Find that person, and your son will listen.
Tips for Parents with Boys Who Are Dreading Heading Back to School:
They will survive...
If your son is already dreading the return to school, trust me—I know exactly how he feels. As the holidays wind down, all the problems he left behind before the break might seem like they’re waiting to resurface. But here’s the truth: many of the fears we have about going back to school never actually happen.
The key to supporting your son through this transition is preparation, perspective, and empowerment. Here are five proven strategies to help him start the new school year with confidence.
1. Shift His Focus to the Outcomes He Wants
The human brain is wired to focus on what we expect to happen. At the base of the brainstem, we have a bundle of nerves called the Reticular Activating System (RAS), which filters information based on where our attention lies. However, the RAS doesn’t differentiate between positive and negative focus—if your son fixates on what he doesn’t want, he’s far more likely to experience it.
Instead of dwelling on worries, guide him to set positive intentions for the school year. This isn’t about grades or achievements but how he wants to feel at school. Ask him: What would make school enjoyable for you? What kind of friendships or experiences do you want to create? Shifting his mindset from avoidance to intention can have a massive impact on his experience.
2. Encourage Activities & Hobbies Outside of School'
One of the biggest challenges for boys who struggle socially at school is that it can feel like their entire world. If your son has passions, hobbies, or friendships outside of school, it helps balance his emotional wellbeing.
Studies show that children engaged in extracurricular activities have higher self-esteem, lower stress levels, and improved resilience when facing challenges. Whether it’s sports, music, martial arts, gaming, or creative pursuits, help him discover activities that excite him and give him something to look forward to beyond school.
3. Small Changes in His Environment Can Make a Big Difference
Sometimes, even minor upgrades can boost a child’s enthusiasm for returning to school. Research in environmental psychology shows that new or novel objects can create a sense of excitement and motivation.
Something as simple as a new backpack, fresh stationery, or a $5 basketball to take for recess and lunch can shift his perception of school. These items don’t just serve a practical purpose; they create small sparks of enjoyment throughout the day, helping to reframe the experience in a more positive light.
4. If He’s Struggling with Bullying, Get Him the Right Support
Bullying remains a serious issue in Australian schools, with over 27% of students reporting experiences of being bullied. Unfortunately, telling a child to “ignore it” rarely works—bullying has a deep psychological impact on self-worth and identity.
One of the best ways to help a boy struggling with bullying is to strengthen his sense of self. During adolescence, boys naturally seek independence from their parents, often becoming more influenced by external role models. This is why having a strong male mentor outside of the home can make a huge difference.
A mentor can help build his confidence, reinforce his values, and provide guidance in a way that feels relatable—ultimately giving him the tools to stand tall in any situation.
5. The Most Important Tip: Keep Strengthening Your Relationship
As boys grow, they start to push boundaries, keep secrets, and distance themselves from parents—not because they don’t love you, but because they’re trying to figure out who they are. Maintaining a strong connection with your son is one of the most valuable things you can do.
This doesn’t mean forcing him to share everything but rather creating a safe space for him to talk when he’s ready. Instead of asking what happened, try asking how he felt:
✔ How did you feel at school today?
✔ What’s one thing that would make school better for you?
✔ Is there anything I can do to make things easier for you?
The goal is to be curious, not judgmental. Even small, non-intrusive conversations let him know he has your support—without the pressure of opening up before he’s ready.
Summary
Returning to school can feel overwhelming for many boys, but with the right approach, parents can help shift their experience. By guiding their focus, encouraging outside interests, creating small positive changes, providing the right support, and maintaining a strong connection, you empower them to handle challenges with confidence.
Above all, remind your son that he is strong, capable, and not alone—and with the right mindset, he can take on anything.
The Truth About Emotional Regulation:
It's not about control...
Many people believe that regulating your emotions means being able to control them—but this is far from the truth. Emotions are not something we can suppress or eliminate at will. Instead, they are biological responses designed to help us process experiences, signal needs, and drive action.
What Are Emotions, Really?
At their core, emotions are neuro-chemical and physiological reactions that influence how we respond to the world around us. When we experience an emotion, our brain—primarily the limbic system—releases neurotransmitters like dopamine, serotonin, cortisol, and oxytocin, which shape our mood and behaviour.
Emotions can also be understood as energy in motion (E-motion). Studies in somatic psychology reveal that emotions are stored and processed in the body, not just the mind. This is why we often physically feel emotions—like a lump in our throat when we’re sad or tightness in our chest when we’re anxious.
Since emotions are automatic and involuntary, we cannot control them—but we can learn to regulate them.
What Does It Mean to Regulate Your Emotions?
Emotional regulation isn’t about stopping emotions from happening. It’s about removing the fear and resistance toward them so we can process them in a healthy way.
Most people struggle with emotions because they try to numb or suppress them. This often leads to destructive coping mechanisms like avoiding conversations, overworking, drinking, or distracting themselves with social media. The problem is, unprocessed emotions don’t disappear—they store themselves in the body and manifest later as stress, anxiety, or even physical illness.
True emotional regulation means:
✅ Allowing yourself to feel emotions rather than suppressing them.
✅ Responding rather than reacting to emotional triggers.
✅ Expressing emotions in healthy ways (crying when sad, talking through shame, etc.).
✅ Developing a relationship with your emotions rather than fearing them.
How to Regulate Your Emotions Effectively
One of the most effective ways to regulate emotions is facing them through breathwork. When we feel overwhelmed by emotions, our sympathetic nervous system (fight-or-flight response) is activated, making us feel panicked or reactive. However, we can shift into the parasympathetic nervous system (rest-and-digest state) through conscious breathing.
Try This Simple Practice:
1️⃣ Pause & Notice – When an emotion arises, instead of pushing it away, stop and acknowledge it. Where do you feel it in your body?
2️⃣ Breathe Into It – Use parasympathetic breathing (inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4, exhale for 6). This helps signal safety to the nervous system.
3️⃣ Observe Without Judgment – Instead of resisting the emotion, get curious about it. Ask: What is this emotion trying to tell me?
4️⃣ Express It If Needed – If sadness comes up, allow yourself to cry. If frustration arises, move your body to release it.
The more you practice this, the more comfortable you become with sitting in your emotions. Over time, you’ll realise they pass through you naturally—without the need for avoidance or suppression.
Final Thoughts
Emotional regulation isn’t about control—it’s about understanding, accepting, and processing emotions in a healthy way. When we stop fearing our emotions and start working with them, we build emotional intelligence, resilience, and a stronger connection to ourselves.
So next time you feel something intense, don’t push it away—breathe into it. That simple act can be the difference between being controlled by your emotions and learning to work with them.